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Little Billy and Uncle Ted
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher asks the class to go home and
think of a story to be concluded with a moral.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load
the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.
Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and
onto the road." When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy
replied. "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the
chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs
hatched." Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy
replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
Next up was little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his
plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but
could only take a case of beer, a machine gun, and a machete. On the way down he
drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of
bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his
machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what
possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Billy replied, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been
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