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How To get Away With Speeding


A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in
the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.



Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly
surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense
situation:



Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.



It was valid.



Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.



The driver owned the car.



Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in
it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.



Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.



Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body
in it.

Driver: No problem.



Trunk is opened; no body.



Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him
you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that
there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And
I'll bet the lying toad told you I was speeding, too...


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