Home » Funny Stories » Maintenance Complaints/Problems!!!
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Never let it be said that Ground Crews and Maintenance Staff lack a sense of
humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as
squawks, recently submitted by Pilots to maintenance engineers :
After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the
details of the action taken to solve the pilots' squawks.
P - The problem logged by the pilot.
S - The solution and action taken by the Maintenance Crew.
Actual Log Entries:
P - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S - No. 2 propeller seepage normal - Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal
P - Something loose in cockpit.
S - Something tightened in cockpit.
P - Dead bugs on windshield.
S - Live bugs on backorder.
P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S - Evidence removed.
P - DME volume unbelievably loud.
S - Volume set to more believable level.
P - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S - That's what they are there for!
P - IFF inoperative.
S - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P - Suspected crack in windscreen.
S - Suspect you're right.
P - Number 3 engine missing.
S - Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P - Aircraft handles funny.
S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."
P - Target radar hums.
S - Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P - Mouse in cockpit.
S - Cat installed.
OK - Go board your next flight!
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