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Little Johnny and Sex Education
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had
been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered
what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who
became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to
hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother.
"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most
of the lights.
Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick,
because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he
put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would.
Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding
her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them
started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been
cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began
to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him
that she felt really hot.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick - a big eel had gotten
inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about
10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting
away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared her eyes got big, and her mouth
fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it
was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at
the lake by our house!! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by
biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it
tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's
head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could
get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put
up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend
almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it
between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her
boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just
hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her
boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting
anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again.
By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight
again. I guess eels are like cats - they have nine lives or something. This
time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35
minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw
Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
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