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Idiot Olympic Questions


Idiot Olympic Questions:



Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and the witty answers that go with them.



Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how
do the plants grow? (UK)



A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who
themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...



Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)



A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...



Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwinor Or Darwin to Perth - to
avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)



A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.



Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
(Sweden)



A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a
year ago to get there in time for this October...



Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)



A: And accomplish what?



Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for
a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)



A: I'm not touching this one...



Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let
her in? (South Africa)



A: Why? We do have toilet paper here...



Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)



A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest ofus...



Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)



A: No. Everybody stinks.



Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)



A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national
parks...



Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)



A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...



Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is
smaller than the male population? (Italy)



A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.



Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)



A: Yes. At Christmas.



Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)



A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.



Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)



A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.



Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)



A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?



Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)



A: Another blonde?



Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake
serum. (USA)



A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.



Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)



A: Face North and you should be about right.



Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)



A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria
and Australia.



Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy)



A: Yes. Outdoors.



Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)



A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first


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