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Parents' Dictionary
Parents' Dictionary:
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex
again.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart
to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained
carrots
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you are angry with him /her
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though
they're sure you're not raising them right
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word
INPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say
OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes
into it
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented then yours
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your
last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing superman pajamas
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those
familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house
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