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Maybe I'm not so bad after all!

Don't feel stupid about using your computer-read on. This is
an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any
Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood
of calls asking

where the Any Key is.

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her
mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover
turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her
defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the
customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting,
the technician   discovered the man was trying to fax
a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen
and hitting the "send" key.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and
an invalid," The tech explained that the computer's
"bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it
"couldn't find   printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that
his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support
couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring
the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what
happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I
pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the
unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed
the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and
rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was
OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems
with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't
even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that
"Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the
instructions for installing software. The instructions said to
remove the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The
user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered
why there were problems.

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within
my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my

Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's
because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a
trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
trademark on it?"

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about
a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and
snapped it off the drive.

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under
"Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is
next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in
the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is
working fine."

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring
up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a
'P'." Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer:
"What do you mean?" Tech: "'P' on your keyboard,
Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

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