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Memo From Osama

Memo from Osama

To: Cavemates

Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've

really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks

to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I

in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There,

Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are

fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave.

And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise

missiles, we should be even more concerned about the

scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and

neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've

posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I

do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth,

okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not

ride your razor scooters in the background or make funny

faces . Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by

edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need

everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime.

We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly

wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf.

Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all

I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in

disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up

patrols to look for them.

First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and


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