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Memo From Osama
Memo from Osama
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've
really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks
to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I
in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There,
Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are
fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave.
And frankly I have a few concerns.
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise
missiles, we should be even more concerned about the
scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and
neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've
posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I
do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth,
okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not
ride your razor scooters in the background or make funny
faces . Just while we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by
edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need
everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime.
We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly
wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf.
Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in
disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up
patrols to look for them.
First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and
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